Tuesday, June 29, 2004 ++
IT'S ALWAYS 4/4 THIS 4/4 THAT.
I SAY 4/4 WE SHOW THEM!!
WRONG. WE ARE GOOD, CUTE AND NICE BUNCH OF GIRLS. I SAY 4/4 WITH OUR INTELLIGENCE WE CAN BE AS GOOD AS THE OTHER CLASSES! WE'RE NOT DUMB OR ANYTHING. LET'S JUST DO IT GOOD. WE CAME SO FAR TOGETHER. ARGH!!!!
WE'RE THE KIDS OF THE BLACK HOLE!!!
No sound is heard from unit two
When there was once so much to do
Was once a green mansion, but now it's a wasteland
Our days of wreckless fun are through
GO!
Kids in a fast lane living for today
No rules to abide by and no one to obey
Sex, drugs and fun is their only thought and care
Another swig of brew another overnight affair
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
Kids of the black hole
Messages and slogans are the primary decor
History's recorded in a clutter on the floor
Inhabitants that searched the grounds for roaches or spare change
Another night of chaos is so easy to arrange
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
Kids of the black hole
The nights of birthdays
The nights of fry
The nights of endless drinking
The nights of violence
The nights of noise
The nights that had to end for good, still not understood, by the girls and boys
Carefree in their actions as for morals they had none
When the girls were horny who would be the lucky ones?
Pushing all the limits to a point of no return
Trashed beyond belief to show the kids don't wanna learn
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids
House of the filthy, house not a home
House of destruction where the lurkers roamed
House that belonged to all the homeless kids 3:28 AM
Sunday, June 27, 2004 ++
school isnt fun at all! i'm all sweaty and sticky and yucky. urgh. but.. BUT BUT but but... MR SIM IS NOT TEACHING US PHYSICS ANYMORE!!! yes yes yes yes yes yes! i'm so over the moooooon. argh but there's O level chinese oral this thursday... YAO JIANG HUA YU.. wo shi zong guo ren. haha. whatever la. haha...
i didnt miss school at allll... i want to sleeeeep. haha. BUT BUT but i didnt doze off in class. whee` so its a good thing. argh had english lesson.. was boring... bleah that's it for today. argh.. oh yea we want to watch spider man!!!! ar~ maybe can call matt out ;p 11:50 PM
Tuesday, June 22, 2004 ++
ahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
chester is sooo cute!!!
mike is soo cool!! i got his guitar pick!!
brat is soo hairy!!
phoenix is soo bald!!!
rob is sooo good!!!
joycelyn is sooo smart... 9:52 PM
Friday, June 18, 2004 ++
S U C C E S S taste extremely sweet today. that filming was a success. haha.. yep. it was beautifully done all thanks to me! haha. just kidding, there's no one man show in this world...
credits:
PROPS: FIONA!! yvonne, shuxin(hha ur lock and key.), weiting(stop painting ur nails!!). ME!!!
THAT FORMATION THINGY: AMY(very creative i must say.), fiona, sally wong, JEAN!!(so serious just now..). ME!!!
MUSIC: BY JOYCELYN!!
and of course to those who participated. haha the video will be nice. i promise. haha.. we'll all share a great laugh at the end of the year.
one thing that i'm really pissed about is MR SIM. bloody hell, where is he when we needed him. WE TOLD HIM PERSONALLY THAT TODAY GOT FILMING! and he went missing at that time. I PERSONALLY RAN TO THE STAFF ROOM WANTING TO INVITE HIM NICELY BUT HE WASNT THERE. argh. that smelly bastard. he didnt buckle his pants today. so sick. trying to hide it with his belt.. argh.. go away, u're not fit to be our form teacher. THE WORST TEACHER AWARD GOES TO.........SIM YAW KEEEEEEE.
oh well, went to play bowling today. i was good. hehe. then oh i paid ONE BUCK for a roller coaster ride in the sbs bus today. thank god i didnt die in there. that bus driver was horrible. one buck leh... woah. okies.. then we went to TAMPINES MALL. then we went to TOYS 'R' US to play. i like that play house!!! haha.. oh there was this box with a winder. so i started winding, i wind and wind and wind and wind. SUDDENLY, an elmo pops out! "AAAAaaRRRRRRRRRR!!!" i went. "HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA" went my friends. thanks guys.
we got tired.. and went home.. yar.. we took alot of picts.. but my mms has exceeded.. so.. hmm.. next time show u all. haha. our adventure in toys 'r' us!. haha. SOO... on the HIGHEST NOTE, i end my day with a GREAT BIG SMILE!! i'm contented. didnt talk to him today. bleah~ think there's nothing else for us to talk anymore.
9:02 AM
Thursday, June 17, 2004 ++
Its interesting how this small piece of Earth could accomodate 6 Billion people. in this 6 Billion people, about 3 billion have to worry most of their lives. from money matters to whether they could still live to see the next sunrise.
Its a wonder how there could be so many different people eventhough we're of the same species. some are proud and ignorant,while others are shy and humble. some are rich and some are poor. some wants to have big cars and houses while some just want to lead a simple happy life.
For me, i want my life to be filled with colours, like the butterflies!i want to experience all the feelings and emotion a man should have. happiness, sadness, love, hatred, friendships... i want my life to be sooo colourful that i would have enough life stories to share it with my children and then pass it on to the younger generations.i want to meet people of all sorts. people with the greatest ego to the people with the greatest heart.
i know mr sim. he claims that he's a perfectionist. the only thing that's obstructing him to his claim is that he doesnt listen. he doesnt listen to us, not even to our opinion. well that's one kind of person u could find in the society. then is sec 4/4 of 2004. it have a mixture of people. there's the cool sportsman( shirley and xuewen.), and the really noisy and irritating ones(like me, yuxian and more...), the quiet geeks(well maybe not geeks), there's the "better mind our own business" group and of course "i dont care" group. all these people makes sec 4/4 unique.
in a few more months time, all of us with graduate from school and lead our own lives. i wonder if any of us will miss those ups and downs that we've been through. i wonder if we will still even remember each other. i wonder if we could be friends forever. i wonder...
tomorrow is the filming of our graduation video. i pray hard that nothing goes wrong, my team have been working hard these few days to plan everything. hope u guys will co-operate with us. ITS OUR GRADUATION FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
graduation(friends forever)And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Will Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
7:41 AM
Wednesday, June 16, 2004 ++
ITS ANOTHER B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L DAY! even the tofu taste sweet today!
although i have to get up damn early(erm 7 isit considered early?, i still feel goooood. yep. this morning my mom was like chasing me away from the house, then i have to go to the bus stop like so early. and i wasnt late for school. yar.
school was fun, just geography and english was abit boring. urgh tomorrow will be interesting. mr sim and mr hamzah. bleah~ mr sim. yuck. URGH.
english, learned plenty of new words like bulwark hm i forgot what it meant. oh well. everybody looked friendlier today even the drink stall uncle, everybody except that ms juliana. idiot. scolded me for my painted nails. now i have to wipe it off!! she even took down my name. argh that's just my luck.
OH U GUYS LISTEN UP! u could get a donut free in 7-11 just by purchasing GULP!! yeah, i got a donut free today so cool right?
linkin park concert is round the corner!! and and and and and AMY AND JEAN are coming!! yay! ok this is the plan, i'll stay over at the padang to queue(*the tix cost 150 must make it good.*) then the next morning, amy and jean will come along and i go home and sleeeeeep. then around 2 i will go there again and watch how linkin park rock singapore!!!! wheeeee. haha.
hmm.. today after school, we stayed back to do this graduation video thing. we went to the market to collect cardboard boxes. we look like those garung guni auties. haha. and i realise the coffee shop selling roti prata is open again! YES ROTI PRATA, MY FAVE!
we spent most of the time cutting the cardboard boxes with only one scissors. haha. i know its damn pathetic. haha. we took turns to cut it though. tomorrow we're gonna wrap the boxes with majong paper and we're gonna draw on it. oh i know this video is going to be good. haha cos i'm part of it.. i'm JOVIAL! haaha
AR.. I must now go remove my nail polish.. hai~ i'm gonna paint it black again, for linkin park concert...~~~~~wheeeeeeee~~~~~~
6:22 AM
Monday, June 14, 2004 ++
SHIT. MS YEONG IS PREGNANT! What the hell! alrights, just need to accept this news.. but what the hell.. she pregnant!
alrights fine.. today woo, i went shopping with cheralynn! yep only the both of us, but it was fun. i drank this blueberry shake, its damn nice... its a must try!
she bought a tube and a shorts. oooh.. short shorts. yar, then me.. i play with clothes! i look damn good. this i have to admit. what to do, when a person is pretty, no matter what she wears, she'll still look gorgeous.[he's online......wheee]
dont know what's with me today, i permed my hair, i look sexy. i do! rights.. haha.. took neoprint with cheral and we left one buck in that machine. someone else must have taken it by now.. argh, we're soo dumb. damn.
wanna look at our pretty neoprints? go to:www.joyxsmashed.mypicgallery.com or just find me. haha.. i'll send it to u.. [should i go say hi?]
hmm.. tomorrow must go to school. MUST I? but i dun wanna... and we have filming for grad night. ooh i've found a perfect dress for grad night already. i look bloody good in it.
haha. today, i'm happy with life soo.. no life sucking lyrics. ooh.. by the way those lyrics are by marilyn manson and slipknot. yar, its not by me. yar. hai~ [should i or shouldnt i?]
this is very much my day! ms yeong is pregnant. i'm satisfied. you're just dumb. just kidding. 9:27 AM
Sunday, June 13, 2004 ++
LOVE, what's really love. In the dictionary it meant a strong feeling or deep affection for somebody. but how exactly u know if its really love.
I'm sure i have felt love before, not that kind of love our parents have for us. its difficult to explain. this type of love can make us feel on top of the world and at the same time feel god damn miserable.
why do people get married. i ask myself sometimes. is it for the fun of it? or do they really love each other. i just don't understand how people can just treat relationship like a easy thing. they change partners as fast as they change a shirt 4 size smaller than their original size.
as many married couples wanting back their freedom and even went to the extend of breaking their vows. and we the younger generation, can't wait to be committed into a relationship. why this change? do we youngster know really what's love?
sometimes i think we are too naive and gullible. just because someone claims that he loves you, you go all out for him. and in the end, you're the one being hurt. you cant blame anyone but yourself.
love for all fellowman. what is this? this is crap! there's no true love in this world. many claimed there is. if there is why are nations dropping bombs?
God, if there's one thing u should be sad of, is how this world have become so cruel where they show no mercy for anybody, not even a child. i guess u have died in vain. we're not worth ur sacrifice. for this i grieve.
LOVE many cant understand. i myself cant understand it too. i admit i have a strong feeling for this someone. but i dunno how he feel for me. i dare not hope for anything. i quite like our friendship now. but i suddenly feel like talking to him. i dunno.
god, for years i've waited. i've waited patiently i dun expect anything much. i really dont. i tried so hard to make things perfect. but it is not leading to where i want it to be. this world is changing too fast. its changing so fast that i cant even finish saying gurilleahemanickelsjelumia. is there a pause button where i can slow down and digest everything?
human feelings becomes suddenly so strange. its staring at me like i'm staring at a french magazine. friends not true friends, lover u found out toying your feelings. what is this crap?
i need to runaway!! far away from this dumb world!!
dont say another word cos i'm not listening
but i'm so stuck! stuck to this soil stuck to this shit
where's the love we need!! where's the love u claim u have?
this is just bullshit, just shut up with ur gospel and go away!
God what the fuck is wrong
You act like you knew it all along
Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing
Even if you run... I will find you
I decided I wanted you
Now I know...I NEED
If you can't be bought, tougher than I thought
Keep in mind - I am with you
Never left out fate, can't concentrate
7:26 AM
Saturday, June 12, 2004 ++
TODAY IS...
the first time i go to HOUGANG. Bloody nicholas, make me lose my way.. "stop after the chinese temple..." argh.
the second time i went to nicholas house. first time i went was loooong ago. very much the same, clean, nice, hot, stuffy... mrs lim is like the best housewife!!! yar, i remember laughing really hard, i forgot what i was laughing about. george?
the third time i went to the gym its soo tiring, i ran for 20 mins, non-stop boy.. haha and a few other things... my whole body is aching now..
the fourth time i took the LRT Nice little invention we have. it didnt break down today... wheee..
the FIFTH time i went to compass point. its a really huge shopping centre without a movie theatre. what happened to golden village??
the sixth time i wrote my diary on this blog. its quite fun actually, just abit troublesome. we must make our blog pretty for the eyes of the onlookers.
the SEVENTH time i didnt have dinner. yeah during this hols.. this is the 7th time.. sheesh. yar la i'm hungry. just to tired and lazy to go find food. so its my fault.
the eighth time.. er er er er er... next.
the nineth time i took the NORTH - EAST LINE train. so cool right! mom! i didnt go harbourfront la, just went hougang do exercise.-_-"
the tenth time my mom went for dinner this year.
how come i'm not invited always. argh, not fair!
i lied on his bed all ready to sleep
he jumped on me, didnt say much but just laughed
he listened to me talk
he looked at me, i didnt know what to do.
i just laughed and laughed and laughed
he asked"can i kiss u for fun?"
i didnt answer, i continued laughing.
we're getting intimate
that's not very nice
i hugged him tight, i like that feeling
now its my turn to jump on him.
what if i break ur bones? what if i missed?
i didnt care, i just jumped.
up i flew, down i dropped.
WHAMP! my ribcage hurts.
slept on top of him for a while
nice cushioning.
but it all ended. just like fairy tales when the clock strikes 4
he had to attend church.
i was tired, from all that laughing and exercising and twisting and jumping.
i went home and slept and here, my story stop.
5:14 AM
Thursday, June 10, 2004 ++
I SAY HEY! U SAY HEY!
I SAY WASSUP! U SAY EVERYTHING'S UP!
alrights, i'm abit nutty today.ever wondered why? cos of tuition! that bloody tuition lasted for 4 hrs. solid. no kidding.
hmm in just a few weeks time, i'm gonna be 16. i'm old. totally. i still remember fresh in my head the first time i turned 12. seems like only yesterday i've turned 12. that little girl had turned into a teenager. now i'm gonna taste womanhood.
WOMANHOOD= the state of being a woman.
yep, in a few years time. now i'm a lady. a young lady. beginning to mature both physically and mentally. but there's some things that would not be changed, like for example my love for tweety bird and my passion for the tele.. it would not be changed that easily.
alrights, i'm not feeling inspired today.
what makes a girl and woman. i think a girl must go through what a girl must go through before attaining the status of womanship. those girls who deny themselves will find themselves regretting for the rest of their old donkey lives. i mean since god made u a girl, why oppose him and try soooo hard to look and be like boys? tell u what, no matter how hard for u to try to be like the boys, you'll never succeed.
Boys have this element in them that made them different from us. if god wants the same genger to be together, why the hell he created eve. so common' if u're a girl, dress like one, be like one. be proud of your own gender. i know now its the trend, binding ur bust and cutting your hair short. hey, i think u guys do these just to attract attention. well, u dont look good in those baggy jeans and over sized shirt.
mordern girls(calling out to those lesbians and stuff),so now u think u got a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend very cool now la. u're a disgrace to us. spit at u(pui`). i know singapore is lacking of handsome boys, but love isnt just about looks. go further into knowing their character. i'm sure every guys are attractive in their own ways.
human nature is always superficial. i am superficial. i do not deny. and now, we live in a world built with outer beauty. goodness just imagine this world is all filled with pretty people. yuck. if everything is perfect in this world, why live? there would not be anymore room for perfection, cos everything is perfect.
so i suggest myself to mind my own business:)
The beautiful people, the beautiful people
It's all relative to the size of your steeple
You can't see the forest for the trees
You can't smell your own shit on your knees
There's no time to discriminate,
Hate every motherfucker
That's in your way
Hey you, what do you see?
Something beautiful, something free?
Hey you, are you trying to be mean?
If you live with apes man, it's hard to be clean
The worms will live in every host
It's hard to pick which one they eat most
The horrible people, the horrible people
It's as anatomic as the size of your steeple
Capitalism has made it this way,
Old-fashioned fascism will take it away
9:52 AM
Wednesday, June 09, 2004 ++
melancholy-> deep sadness that last for a long time.
the melancholy is still in me... deep within me. i woke up today feeling rather sad. i dunno why i feel this why, i think is because my mom didnt go for work today.
its raining, i'm feeling cold. no one's there to hug me, to give me the warmth i need. i suddenly felt lonely. i havent felt this way for weeks. this feeling is almost a stranger to me. i cant turn it down.
i remembered i have to meet cheralynn, to do work. didnt feel like doing work. i dragged my 10 pound feet to meet her. shit she was later than me. argh starbucks so cold. i'm freezing.. someone hug me please!
went for class after doing work. so many new faces. i cant play a single line properly. i think i'm nervous. it was boring. after class i rushed down to town by a cab.
to my greatest horror!!!!! the cab fare from tampines to somerset is $11.50!! hey that's in sing dollars alright. damn. my friend was late. fine, went to board that harry potter bus. that tim guy was there. i told him i know his name. he didnt look happy. but i dun care.
rights i'm hungry. that bus ride was boring. had dinner at taka. the food sucked. i went home, this time by the train. so much cheaper.
here i am infront of u(my com), typing my agonies and happiness.
here's what i wanna tell him:
Who needs the world when I've got you
Switch off the sun, the stars and the moon
I've all I need inside of this room
Who needs the world when I've got you
9:37 AM
++
crap. its 237 in the morning of a new day. i've never seen a sun rise before. i think i had, but i didnt noticed it. i've ignored mother nature completely. guessed was my ignorant that made me missed alot of things. the power of friendship, the strength of relationships. i've been so busy with daily work i've even neglected my mom. i must have been really bad.
as O level is approaching, many are burying their darn head in the book mine. does it help? i wanted to be like them. that was my goal for this holiday. but i failed. i spent endless time on the internet, doing this darn blog and fighting with my darn attitude.
eventhough god said he'll do the rest, it comes with a condition, that is if u do your best. i havent done my best. my best effort is being destroyed by my laziness. how am i gonna overcome this. i wanna do my parents proud, cos i'm the only one who can bring that glory light upon them.
friends, lovely people they may seem, however the spikes beneath them are terrifying. as the world is getting more open, their spikes are getting more and more visual day by day. its hard to find someone who u could tell ur problems to. if u have one... u're one lucky fella. i havent got one. they're either cant be bothered or just too lazy to listen.
every morning, while i'm walking to the bus stop. i see people brushing through the roads. i wonder, why do they live? do they live to enjoy or just enjoying the wonders of living? or perhaps money rule their lifes. this thinking is very wrong, i tell you. money can never control us, once it does, u're dead. DEAD. money has caused many families to break apart. because of money, countries have wars. the young generation die young while the older, just die.
oh god. is this why u made life? i hope not! in this world, too many are being discriminated. do u think those people in prison all did something terribly wrong. they must have their reasons for doing so. just no one listens to them. they only do when they did the wrong thing. kill, rob whatever they may be. its not their fault.
people get stucked on things sometimes. relax people, look around u. the chirping of the birds, the wonders of the rainbows and the richness of the soil. its all beautiful. did u notice it? i bet u didnt even notice that there's someone who's secretly supporting u morally and giving u all the help u need in the world to step into the carpet of success. spend some time reflect. it does do good.
reflecting on oneself could help improve the person. but its always up to the person to decide whether to change for the better or worst.it all depends on the muturity of that person. i like my frankness, although some people couldnt accept facts. i feel sorry for them. i hate my attitude. which part of the family gene it came from? i guess this attitude is the culprit of all my crimes. the way i made mr sim feel like a downright idiot. i feel guilty. but i couldnt stand the way he demoralise us. it just dumb. i guess this is what we call personality. everyone have a different personalities and views. because of this flaws we have, it made no human a perfect person. i guess this is me.
3:08 AM
Tuesday, June 08, 2004 ++
ooh.. i woke up only when the sun burnt my poor butt(ouch.)
nothing much in the day just went online until evening, its really bored.
till at night, me and my mom went for my bro's chalet, its his birthday u see. and then my mom left me behind penniless without a phone. i got really furious and screamed at her. i know i was wrong. sorry mom!
oh well i got so fed up i went home! yar.. me and my bull attitude. no wonder no one likes me. hmm..
yeah.. i'm like thinking... am i really irritating. i'm just bored, need someone to accompany my through this old night of mine.
alrights so i'm irritating, i keep on disturbing people and all. i think i should perhaps spare their misery and stop disturbing them. hmm.... alrights.. that's all for today.. i'm just another SAD soul in this SAD planet called the EARTH. 11:45 PM
Monday, June 07, 2004 ++
alrights alrights i'm gonna do this right. hm.. haha.. the last blog was a disaster.. i got bored and stopped doing..
HOWDY
Today.. woo.. today was totally disappointing..
i thought we could like take the harry potter bus and see that tim guy. but he was off shift. dammit.
the harry potter bus will be gone after wednesday. so if u havent had a ride on it, better do so quick. its really fun!! AR!!!!!!!!!haha 9:54 PM
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